IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery......................... The study of paintings

Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section........A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty

Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her

Colic........................... A sheep dog

Coma........................... A punctuation mark

Dilate......................... To live long

Enema.......................... Not a friend

Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula......................... A small lie.

Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known.

Labour Pain.....................Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff..................... A Doctor's cane.

Morbid.......................... A higher offer.

Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.

Node........................... I knew it.

Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.

Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative................. A letter carrier.

Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.

Rectum......................... Nearly killed him.

Secretion...................... Hiding something.

Seizure........................ Roman emperor.

Tablet.......................... A small table.

Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.

Tumour..........................One plus one more.

Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.