Did you see Paula Abdul isn't on American Idol? They replaced her with Steven Tyler.

For those of you who don’t know, my street is the laughing stock of the borough. I just kinda want to clarify something. I am no way in any shape or form affiliated with the folks across the street. I take my showers, I go to work, I clean my house, I don’t have 500 children and if I did they wouldn’t all have mullets…even the girls. Another thing is there are decent people on the street. We are being labeled because we have one family that sits outside has cookouts all day and collects checks. There was this one nice lady, unfortunately she died over summer. The stupidest thing happened though. The newspaper interviewed the neighbors across the street and asked them to describe the deceased. Usually when this happens you get the obvious answers  “Oh she was a kind lady, kept to herself, the kids loved her” stuff like that, but when the paper interviewed them, and I mean them. They described her as are you ready for this? “Mentally Challenged”. Who says that about a dead person?! You’re supposed reflect on all the positives, not be like “ Yeah she was stupid as hell” 

There are three types of people that go to community college that you should all be aware of if you were to ever go to community College. I guess I will go in order from favorite to least favorite.

 

I’m going start with the reformed adult. These people are usually between 28-74 years old. These are the ones who decided to work after high school, rather than get an education. I’m not going get into too many details since there really isn’t much to them.

Now the failed student. You are sitting in the room on the first day of classes, and the teacher does a roll call. She says a bunch of names then she looks at this one particular student and says “Zack! Back for another run now are we?” “Yeah” The saddest thing about this student is that throughout the semester the teacher will constantly refer to the student “Now there will be an essay due next month on Martin Luther King, Zack do you remember if I required 5 pages or 7 pages?”  Zack sits there “ I don’t know…I didn’t do it.”

And now for my favorite, or should I say my least favorite. This is the single most annoying individual you will ever meet anywhere. The smart kid. He comes in all dressed up, shirt tucked in, parted hair, he‘s wearing clogs. He’s got like this organizer, with all his subjects labeled, he sits in front of the classroom. Now this person doesn’t quite belong in community college, he’s probably still in high school and he’s going to community college to show how much smarter he is than everybody else. He’ll ask the teacher the most unnecessary questions. They’ll tell you just write a little bit about yourself, and he’ll be like “Do you want a thesis statement? A hook in the essay? Perhaps an outline?” The teacher will give him a puzzled look “Uhhhh……no, BUT I am quite impressed that you know what that means.”

And he just sits at his desk all satisfied. All semester. He’ll answer all the questions…to the point where the teacher’s like “Anybody else besides Thomas?” *Looks to Thomas all gay like*  These smart people are so stupid!!! Don’t they know that there needs to be an even question answering output, so that when there is a question none of us can answer the smart kid isn’t exempt from answering it because he answers all the damn questions!!!!!!!!!!! WHATS TWO PLUS TWO!!!??? 4! WHATS 56999 DIVIDED BY 8!!!??? ANYBODY ELSE BESIDES THOMAS!!!???