*I'm going to be online less for a while, for reasons including needing space so something else works out. Will NOT be turning up to the Sunday (24th January) chat at 19:00 (if a new time isn't announced by then). Online at 8pm GMT most nights for an hour nowadays, then around 12am for a few minutes. Sometimes I'm here around 5pm for a few minutes and every so often the morning (around 8am or 11am depending).

Seems like my possible hypocalcemia (US spelling?) has also been flaring up. I was brushing my hair on Tuesday and little bits of hair dropped onto my pc. Then in the early hours this morning (edited today 21 January), another little piece of tooth came off. I'm sure I have a few tiny yellow-brown lines on one tooth too. Need to get this sorted really, ASAP. Before the tiredness becomes too much. Cutting down on phosphates, consuming more magnesium and more calcium would also improve this though (hopefully).

Been working on NLP techniques recently, on myself, which could have backfired but didn't (thankfully!). So now I feel much better and am taking a little bit of a vacation (as mentioned above) from the internet world to help with the process.

I stopped writing poetry/imaginative stuff for a while, besides, there's enough to last about a month in my blog!

*PARAGRAPHS REMOVED BY AUTHOR FOR PRIVACY REASONS.

2010-01-22: Was never good at interpreting actions either. Especially when both sides are unsure at what to do. I felt a little stupid earlier because I have been misinterpreting some people's actions recently. I've also not been reading messages and posts so well. So that has lead to some confusion, hehe . Maybe it is better to ask me straight on what you want, otherwise there will be confusion. That goes out to everyone who talks to me.

Oh well, I guess mistakes are learnt from.

 

2010-01-30: Not turning up to this Sunday chat either, if it is at the same time as usual. I will be around later that day, to sort other things out though. Been sleeping in weird patterns. On Wednesday-Thursday I didn't sleep until 6am and had to get up at 8 to get food. Then Thursday-Friday I also didn't sleep. Events just keep getting in the way and besides I found a really good song/songs on my ipod. Just making the most of whatever holiday I have left until next semester starts (4 module classes p.w.). I was online from 4am this morning, up to 6am. Then I left my pc on and just slept; until nearly 9am. Had to get up, so at quarter to ten I somehow passed out. (Probably from the tiredness.) I slept then until half 11. Then I went upstairs and put myself to bed until 3pm!

 

I prefer this routine. Sleep randomly and stay awake during the night!

 

2010-01-31: No sleep for me again. I did have a good sleep from 6am-3pm yesterday though. Half way through the evening, it finally dawned on me what may be causing this insomnia. I had started getting issues with tingling in my hands and getting a little anxious over things. This is usually a sign that things are getting a little off-balance again, even though I thought I had sorted it out. Then I noticed more dentine showing on my teeth, first that troublesome molar which had been causing problems for a while; then one of the canines, which did catch me by surprise . So all that can change in little less than 3 weeks? It seems I have inherited the bane of my dad's life; his hypocalcemia. Now to see if it stays at bay whilst I wait for help with medical fees. Can't afford that, so I have to wait until I can!

I've also found it pretty cool to stay up all night. Then again, this feeling subsides when it gets to about 9am and I get sleepy!

Stuff has been getting more busy too. I've been tidying up somewhat and relaxing before next semester starts. We need to organise stuff here and need to move house too .

I actually thought it was nearly Christmas last night. How disappointed I was....

Then I've not been able to stop thinking. About everything and everyone it seems. Then there are a few more major things on my mind. Thinking is cool and can help a lot, but it can also get in the way of what needs to be done.

And it snowed here!

Plus I found out some more geneology stuff. I'm more Irish than I thought!

 

 

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So this is kind of something to do with how working too hard can lead to other issues. Confict of interest and just feeling pretty helpless can often be observed.

I guess I've always been taught to work hard and play less. Therefore it seemed sort of inevitable that I would findthe hard-working, ambitious type of man attractive. Throughout my life I've always been taught to aim higher than the rest of my family, so I wouldn't find myself in the same struggling lifestyle.

But it gets more difficult when you find someone you really, really like and they work overtime on stuff. You can kind of tell it is important to them, and if it was me; I would also be working the same way. Yes, I do also work this way; I've been known to stay focused for hours on putting together synth sounds for a new project, or html formatting. I love formatting, scripting and solving computer issues (even more so now that my second computer, my only desktop, is deciding when to have it's final hour of service ).

The awful thing about this is when you can't help them in any way. It is difficult to watch them completely absorbed in this activity, most hours. You aso can't tell when you're next going to have a real conversation. Gets awkward and puts strain on things a lot. They get tired and it is sort of worrying, especially with the communication deteriorating too. But I guess life is busy and varied, interests are interests and work is work. Thankfully, I have a lot of loyalty and patience. But I'm also anxious too, anxious of what could happen. I have my plans and I'm focused on carrying these out, with the same vigour as this person carries out their interests.

It's not all bad, just a little challenging. I like a challenge, but it's more difficult when it concerns your s/o (kind of). Find the most brilliant and inspiring person, the one who is just a tiny bit different from yourself- but not too much, and it always gives a busy time. Always hard for you to watch the person who means the World to you, getting burnt out....

It is hard at the time, but if you know it's going to be so awesome ahead; why not fight the hard times?

 

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